Day 42 of The 100 Day Project: The Crossroads of Should and Must — Choosing the Path That’s Yours

Discover how to choose your true path by embracing your calling and letting go of expectations in The Crossroads of Should and Must.

Do you ever feel you’re living a life that doesn’t quite fit? That somewhere along the way, you adopted a path that was never really yours? Elle Luna’s The Crossroads of Should and Must is a short but powerful guide for anyone seeking clarity, courage, and authenticity in how they live, work, and create.

This book explores a timeless choice. The difference between “Should” and “Must.” Should is rooted in expectation, what society, family, culture, and tradition tell us to do. Must is our calling, the inner pull toward what you were born to do. It is the work that lights you up, whether it comes with fame, fortune, or external approval.

What’s the Difference Between a Job, Career, and Calling?

Luna begins by asking an important question. Do you have a job, a career, or a calling?

A job is something you do for a paycheck.
A career is a longer-term pursuit of success, advancement, and recognition.
A calling is the work you feel compelled to do, regardless of the reward.

When you follow your calling, you do what you are. There’s no separation between life and work. Your calling integrates your identity, values, and deepest purpose.

Defining Should and Must

“Should” is shaped by the expectations placed on us from the moment we’re born. Placed by parents, school, peers, culture, and systems. It’s the invisible pressure to fit in, conform, and seek approval.

In contrast, “Must” is your inner truth. It’s your creative essence, your values, and your voice when you're alone with yourself. It’s the part of you that’s authentic, unedited, and alive.

As Luna writes, “Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self.”

Choosing Must is risky. It may feel scary, even incomprehensible. But it’s also liberating. It leads to self-actualization, fulfillment, and meaningful contribution.

Examining the Shoulds in Your Life

To truly step into Must, understand your Shoulds. They often operate like an internal script that’s been running your whole life. You might not even realize they’re there.

Ask yourself:

Where did these Shoulds come from?
Are they true for me?
Do I still want to carry them?

These questions can reveal the hidden “prisons” in your minds, limiting beliefs and inherited patterns that no longer serve us. Luna says, “If you want to be free, you must understand why you are not free.” In that understanding lies the key to change.

A Transformational Exercise: Let Your Must and Should Talk

One of the most profound exercises in the book invites you to sit with yourself—literally. Place two chairs facing each other. In one chair, embody your Must. Speak from your heart. In the other chair, become your Should. Express its fears, its justifications.

Allow a conversation between these two aspects of yourself. Ask questions. Share emotions. Listen deeply. This exercise can reveal where you’re stuck and what’s calling for change.

(If you’ve done the Silva Mind Method, you might adapt this exercise to your mental lab. Speak to your future self about the life you're meant to live. Let your intuition guide the conversation.)

Discovering Your Must

Choosing Must isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a practice. A process. Luna provides beautiful prompts to help you remember who you are at your core:

What were you like as a child?
What activities brought you joy?
Were you independent or collaborative?
A daydreamer or a planner?

Answering these questions can reconnect you with the parts of yourself that got buried under layers of Should.

Another powerful exercise. Write your obituary. It may sound morbid, but it’s clarifying. If your life continues on its current path, how will it end? Will you have lived the life you truly wanted?

Use this exercise as a wake-up call. Not to induce guilt, but to inspire change.

Making Your Must Sustainable

Following your Must doesn’t mean quitting your job tomorrow or abandoning responsibilities. Luna acknowledges genuine concerns exist around money, time, space, and vulnerability.

Money: If your Must doesn’t pay the bills yet, find a way to earn a living while keeping your calling alive. Track your time. Know the difference between what you must have and what’s nice to have.
Time: Become intentional with how you use your time. Notice the pockets of possibility. Carve out small spaces to practice your Must.
Space: You don’t need a perfect studio or office. Create a sacred space—physical or psychological—where you can play, explore, and connect to yourself.
Vulnerability: Fear is natural. But growth requires discomfort. List your fears. Acknowledge them. And then move through them.

You Must Begin

Luna’s final message is simple yet profound. You don’t need to wait for permission to follow your Must. You just need to start.

What’s one small step you can take today to honor your Must? Maybe it’s five minutes of creative work. A conversation with a mentor. Signing up for a class. Writing your dream.

You were born with unique potential. Whether you cultivate it is up to you.

“As you choose Must, your actions affect everyone and everything around you,” Luna writes. “Must is both the journey and the destination.”

Final Thoughts

The Crossroads of Should and Must is more than a book. It’s an invitation. An invitation to stop living by default and start living by design. To honor the creative force within you. To become who you already are.

In the Art of Learning Leadership Academy, we believe growth begins with awareness. This book offers a compass for your inner landscape. One that points toward freedom, meaning, and purpose.

Choosing Must is the most powerful leadership act of all. It’s how you lead yourself. And in doing so, you lead others to do the same.

If you want access to my Bookish Notes, please consider joining my membership site, the Art of Learning.

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Categories: : Creative leadership, Purpose-driven living